Erlan Visit: Day 0 & 1
We have now visited with Erlan three times. Since Erlan is in the children’s house (instead of the baby house), we are the only family in the playroom. All of the other families go to the baby house. I refer to "Day 0" b/c our first day of visits do not count toward our bonding time.
Day 0
During his first visit, we met with the doctor to discuss his health. I have typed up his medical records to send to our International Adoption MD in the States. Basically the Dr said that Erlan is a healthy boy. He has had coughs and colds but no major illness during his stay in the orphanage. Then she mentioned that he has prenatal encephalopathy, hypertension, and a heart murmer. There are several “illnesses” that are ascribed to children in the Russian medical system that we wouldn’t not call illnesses. We’re not very concerned, but we will still check with Dr. Skurkovich.
He really is an amazing little boy. He shows stranger anxiety. He fusses when I pick him up the first time. He is scared of Ben. He just doesn’t know what to make of us. We look funny, smell funny, and sound funny. The best thing about us seems to be the bag of toys that we bring with us everyday.
During our first visit, we showed Erlan his stacking blocks. I stacked them and he knocked them over. This made him giggle like crazy. He loved this game. He then made a tower of two blocks by himself and knocked them over, which was followed by more giggling. Hopefully I can figure out how to upload the video to show you.
We gave him a teething biscuit about midway through our visit. He wasn’t sure that he should take it from us, but he finally did. He easily grasped the cookie between his thumb and forefinger.
We spent most of our 2-hour visit stacking blocks, walking around the playroom. He did play peek-a-boo with us by hiding behind a corner and popping out. More giggling ensued.
I showed him the mirror book that his Aunt Debbie gave to him. He sat on my lap while I read it to him. Later he picked it up and practiced opening it and turning the pages. The mirror book seemed to be his favorite toy during this visit.
He was tired at the end of our visit. When the nurse came in at the end, she told him in Kazakh to go to Papa. He walked over to Ben and sat down beside him like a little trooper. This was the first and only time that he sat down by Ben during our visit. He just doesn’t know what to make of Ben.
Erlan is delayed in terms of language. He clearly understands Kazakh, but he does not talk yet. His nurse said that he will speak baby language with other children, but he has not talked to her. She said that he is a serious little boy. We’ve seen his serious side, but we’ve also seen his happy-go-lucky side. We are undoubtedly smitten with this child.
Day 1, Visit 1
We just finished our first visit on Day 2. He was still timid of me and frightened of Ben. He lets me hold him, but he is very unsure of Ben. We were told that we could bring food with us, so Ben went down to the market that is near our apartment to buy it. My husband is amazing. He can figure almost anything out, and he is brave enough to try it. If I were on my own, I’d probably hole in the apartment until the translator took me. Not Ben. He takes the electronic translator, his smile, and his pointing finger along with the 4 Russian words that he knows (prevyet, spaceba, da, nyet—hello, thank you, yes, no).
During today’s visit, I gave Erlan stacking cups. He LOVED them. He would have played with them for the entire visit if we hadn’t wanted some attention. He loved figuring out how to nest the cups appropriately. He was dexterous enough to move the cups around well and to nest and re-nest successfully. If he got the size wrong, he just moved things around. We showed him that the cups could also be stacked. He did this for awhile, but really preferred nest the cups.
We tried to feed him. We gave him some carrot juice in a sippee cup. He wanted nothing to do with it. He is used to drinking from a real glass, so maybe he was telling us that sippee cups are for babies! We tried to give him some baby food, but again he wasn’t having it. He did feed himself one bite, but that was it. He did eat the teething biscuit that we gave to him. [At the end of the visit, his nurse also tried to feed him but he didn’t want anything. Perhaps he just wasn’t hungry?]
I put the hat that I knit for him on his head. It is too small. When I tried to take it off, he started to cry. He wanted the hat on. I asked if he is used to wearing a hat, and our translator said no. He wore the hat for the rest of the visit. When his nurse tried to take off his cap, he again started to cry. He may still be wearing the hat when we return in a couple of hours for our next visit. (If he was trying to make his mom happy, it worked.)
All of the clothes that I brought with us are too small. The largest shirt that I brought is an 18 months, and I think that he is in a 2T. We will have to buy some clothes here.
Erlan is potty trained. I’m not sure how well potty trained though because we were told to bring some pull-ups for our next visit.
Day 1, Visit 2
When he walked in to the visiting room and saw us, he sat down and cried. He stopped pretty quickly, but it was clear that he wasn’t ready for us yet. I’m so happy that Kazakhstan has the process that it has. It will be so much better for Erlan to meet us slowly over several weeks rather than for us to take him immediately. This is a huge leap of faith for our little boy. Can you imagine if space aliens picked you up and held you, talked to you in some strange tongue, smiled expectantly at you, made strange laughing sounds, handed you toys? Some parts scare you and some parts you like… you probably wouldn’t know what to make of all of it. I don’t think Erlan knows what to make of all of it.
This afternoon we gave him stacking rings. He had a grand time. He even let Ben hand him some rings…it always takes Erlan a bit to warm up to Daddy. The caretakers brought us some food (a cookie and a roll) to give to him. We tried to give him some carrot baby food, but Erlan wasn’t having any part of it. Ben tried spreading the carrot food on his roll, but Erlan caught on to the ruse. He refused to take the roll. I flipped it over so he couldn’t see the carrot spread. He started to eat it, but then would flip the roll and see it again. He tried to wipe it off on his pants, but I stopped him. I think that he actually liked the way it tasted, but it was just different and he wasn’t sure about it. He also dug the raisins out of the roll when he was eating it and handed them to me. I thought that this was very clever, since I would do the exact same thing. BTW, he did eat the roll in the end.
He also spent a good deal of quality time with his mirror book. He took the mirror up as close as possible to his face as if to say, “Hey, who’s the kid in the book?” Ben got lots of pix of the action. I even heard Erlan mutter something when he had the mirror right up to his face. I have no clue what he said (probably something like “Mom rocks”) but I heard him say something for the first time. Happy day!
Other than that, we sang songs… Sis or Kathi, would you send me the lyrics to “Mister Froggy” and “Tap your sticks”? We walk around the play room. We try to get to know Daddy. Oh, my favorite thing that he does is when I take him off of my lap and put him on the floor, he invariable will get up walk over to me and then back up and sit on my lap. I’m sure you can imagine how happy this makes Mommy.
It’s just amazing to us that he wasn’t adopted before this. He is such a smart and healthy little boy. We feel very blessed that we found him and that he waited for us.
We went out for dinner tonight with some of the other folks that are here for adoption. We had a typical Kazakh meal. It was noodles and meat with broth on the side. It was very tasty. We had a bottle of wine with dinner. We ordered a bottle of wine afterwards. The waitress brought one over and showed us. We said ok, but she didn’t open it. Finally another patron told us that the wine was 2000 tenge (or approx $17). Our first bottle was only 800 tenge (or approx $6.50). So, we said we wanted a 800 tenge bottle. We were given some Kazakh wine. Let me just say that there is a reason that Kaz is not known for their wine. :-)
We have now visited with Erlan three times. Since Erlan is in the children’s house (instead of the baby house), we are the only family in the playroom. All of the other families go to the baby house. I refer to "Day 0" b/c our first day of visits do not count toward our bonding time.
Day 0
During his first visit, we met with the doctor to discuss his health. I have typed up his medical records to send to our International Adoption MD in the States. Basically the Dr said that Erlan is a healthy boy. He has had coughs and colds but no major illness during his stay in the orphanage. Then she mentioned that he has prenatal encephalopathy, hypertension, and a heart murmer. There are several “illnesses” that are ascribed to children in the Russian medical system that we wouldn’t not call illnesses. We’re not very concerned, but we will still check with Dr. Skurkovich.
He really is an amazing little boy. He shows stranger anxiety. He fusses when I pick him up the first time. He is scared of Ben. He just doesn’t know what to make of us. We look funny, smell funny, and sound funny. The best thing about us seems to be the bag of toys that we bring with us everyday.
During our first visit, we showed Erlan his stacking blocks. I stacked them and he knocked them over. This made him giggle like crazy. He loved this game. He then made a tower of two blocks by himself and knocked them over, which was followed by more giggling. Hopefully I can figure out how to upload the video to show you.
We gave him a teething biscuit about midway through our visit. He wasn’t sure that he should take it from us, but he finally did. He easily grasped the cookie between his thumb and forefinger.
We spent most of our 2-hour visit stacking blocks, walking around the playroom. He did play peek-a-boo with us by hiding behind a corner and popping out. More giggling ensued.
I showed him the mirror book that his Aunt Debbie gave to him. He sat on my lap while I read it to him. Later he picked it up and practiced opening it and turning the pages. The mirror book seemed to be his favorite toy during this visit.
He was tired at the end of our visit. When the nurse came in at the end, she told him in Kazakh to go to Papa. He walked over to Ben and sat down beside him like a little trooper. This was the first and only time that he sat down by Ben during our visit. He just doesn’t know what to make of Ben.Erlan is delayed in terms of language. He clearly understands Kazakh, but he does not talk yet. His nurse said that he will speak baby language with other children, but he has not talked to her. She said that he is a serious little boy. We’ve seen his serious side, but we’ve also seen his happy-go-lucky side. We are undoubtedly smitten with this child.
Day 1, Visit 1
We just finished our first visit on Day 2. He was still timid of me and frightened of Ben. He lets me hold him, but he is very unsure of Ben. We were told that we could bring food with us, so Ben went down to the market that is near our apartment to buy it. My husband is amazing. He can figure almost anything out, and he is brave enough to try it. If I were on my own, I’d probably hole in the apartment until the translator took me. Not Ben. He takes the electronic translator, his smile, and his pointing finger along with the 4 Russian words that he knows (prevyet, spaceba, da, nyet—hello, thank you, yes, no).
During today’s visit, I gave Erlan stacking cups. He LOVED them. He would have played with them for the entire visit if we hadn’t wanted some attention. He loved figuring out how to nest the cups appropriately. He was dexterous enough to move the cups around well and to nest and re-nest successfully. If he got the size wrong, he just moved things around. We showed him that the cups could also be stacked. He did this for awhile, but really preferred nest the cups.
We tried to feed him. We gave him some carrot juice in a sippee cup. He wanted nothing to do with it. He is used to drinking from a real glass, so maybe he was telling us that sippee cups are for babies! We tried to give him some baby food, but again he wasn’t having it. He did feed himself one bite, but that was it. He did eat the teething biscuit that we gave to him. [At the end of the visit, his nurse also tried to feed him but he didn’t want anything. Perhaps he just wasn’t hungry?]
I put the hat that I knit for him on his head. It is too small. When I tried to take it off, he started to cry. He wanted the hat on. I asked if he is used to wearing a hat, and our translator said no. He wore the hat for the rest of the visit. When his nurse tried to take off his cap, he again started to cry. He may still be wearing the hat when we return in a couple of hours for our next visit. (If he was trying to make his mom happy, it worked.)
All of the clothes that I brought with us are too small. The largest shirt that I brought is an 18 months, and I think that he is in a 2T. We will have to buy some clothes here.
Erlan is potty trained. I’m not sure how well potty trained though because we were told to bring some pull-ups for our next visit.
Day 1, Visit 2
When he walked in to the visiting room and saw us, he sat down and cried. He stopped pretty quickly, but it was clear that he wasn’t ready for us yet. I’m so happy that Kazakhstan has the process that it has. It will be so much better for Erlan to meet us slowly over several weeks rather than for us to take him immediately. This is a huge leap of faith for our little boy. Can you imagine if space aliens picked you up and held you, talked to you in some strange tongue, smiled expectantly at you, made strange laughing sounds, handed you toys? Some parts scare you and some parts you like… you probably wouldn’t know what to make of all of it. I don’t think Erlan knows what to make of all of it.
This afternoon we gave him stacking rings. He had a grand time. He even let Ben hand him some rings…it always takes Erlan a bit to warm up to Daddy. The caretakers brought us some food (a cookie and a roll) to give to him. We tried to give him some carrot baby food, but Erlan wasn’t having any part of it. Ben tried spreading the carrot food on his roll, but Erlan caught on to the ruse. He refused to take the roll. I flipped it over so he couldn’t see the carrot spread. He started to eat it, but then would flip the roll and see it again. He tried to wipe it off on his pants, but I stopped him. I think that he actually liked the way it tasted, but it was just different and he wasn’t sure about it. He also dug the raisins out of the roll when he was eating it and handed them to me. I thought that this was very clever, since I would do the exact same thing. BTW, he did eat the roll in the end.
He also spent a good deal of quality time with his mirror book. He took the mirror up as close as possible to his face as if to say, “Hey, who’s the kid in the book?” Ben got lots of pix of the action. I even heard Erlan mutter something when he had the mirror right up to his face. I have no clue what he said (probably something like “Mom rocks”) but I heard him say something for the first time. Happy day!Other than that, we sang songs… Sis or Kathi, would you send me the lyrics to “Mister Froggy” and “Tap your sticks”? We walk around the play room. We try to get to know Daddy. Oh, my favorite thing that he does is when I take him off of my lap and put him on the floor, he invariable will get up walk over to me and then back up and sit on my lap. I’m sure you can imagine how happy this makes Mommy.
It’s just amazing to us that he wasn’t adopted before this. He is such a smart and healthy little boy. We feel very blessed that we found him and that he waited for us.
We went out for dinner tonight with some of the other folks that are here for adoption. We had a typical Kazakh meal. It was noodles and meat with broth on the side. It was very tasty. We had a bottle of wine with dinner. We ordered a bottle of wine afterwards. The waitress brought one over and showed us. We said ok, but she didn’t open it. Finally another patron told us that the wine was 2000 tenge (or approx $17). Our first bottle was only 800 tenge (or approx $6.50). So, we said we wanted a 800 tenge bottle. We were given some Kazakh wine. Let me just say that there is a reason that Kaz is not known for their wine. :-)
3 comments:
Maybe he doesn't like CARROTS! Pick another vegetable!! :) Also, I wouldn't be too concerned about his language. Boys are slower than girls. Remember Brian and Lance didn't talk until they were 2 1/2. Very few words before that time.
"Mister Froggy came out one day, said hi ya Erlan would you like to play? Erlan said, "Hi froggy how do you do? Yes I'd like to play with you!" Put your sticks in the air and tap with me. 1, 2, 3. put your sticks in the air and tap them there 1, 2, 3. tap your sticks 1 2 3 tap your sticks its fun. tap your sticks 1 2 3, 3-2-1. To the left, to the right and in between, 1, 2, 3. to the left to the right and in between 1 2 3.
Karla:
Your boy was born on the same day as my Benjamin! They will get to be birthday boys together!
Christy
Hi!
Just wondering if we get a similar medical 'alert', esp the heart murmur, how worried should I be? Is that a life long thing or were you able to take care of it once you got him home? I need to get more familiar with the medical terminologies before the referral comes in in a few days.
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